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Father's Day Tips
Happy Father's Day to all you Dads! This special month reminds us to check out our parenting report card and make needed changes. What is your vision of what you want to be as a father and how are you doing in that role?
For many men in remodeling, the most poignant and wrenching time pull is between parenting and work. You may say being an attentive and loving parent is more important to you than anything else but do you still work 60, 70, 80 hours a week? Truth is, owning your business does allow you real time flexibility but only if you make it happen. The day will never come when you can go home at 1pm on Tuesday because your desk is completely clear and there are no calls to return.
Do you remember thinking (or rationalizing) as you started your business that one of the biggest benefits of entrepreneurship would be your personal freedom to do what you wanted when you wanted? For some reason, I focused on how I would be able to go to the zoo on Wednesday afternoon when it would be empty except for myself. I don't know how you are doing in meeting your vision of time flexibility but I haven't gotten to the zoo yet and it's been 15 years!
There has been little focus on the working father's dilemma. For working mothers there are magazines, books, clubs and a clear recognition of the difficulty of the dual role they play. Society allows the working mother to talk openly about the pull. It is not so forgiving of those who want to be better and more available dads. Yet today's dad is much more likely to want and believe in a collaborative approach to parenting. They want to change diapers, to have an equal chance of their child's first word being "dada," to participate in their child's playtime and bedtime. Studies show that fathers and mothers are equally as conflicted about how to balance their work and parenting roles.
This conflict has been called the "invisible dilemma" for men who may not feel comfortable talking about it. Perhaps it's because there are few good fathering role models. It is much more fashionable to be absorbed by work, in a hurry, on the cell phone at all hours handling business crises. Stephen Covey calls this phenomena the "urgency addition" in his landmark book, First Things First. Covey explains, "Busyness is where we get our security. It's validating, popular, and pleasing. It's also a good excuse for not dealing with the first things in our lives."
When a successful businessman who rates fatherhood first is portrayed, it is the exception. One of these rare exceptions is producer George Lucas of Star Wars fame whose recent television profile highlighted his priorities -- kids first -- without quibble. He is the single parent of multiple adopted children. If you are caught in the "busyness trap," try these tips -
Prioritize your personal schedule with your business schedule. Enter family commitments first, then add your business schedule
Keep missing your children's important sports events? Volunteer to be coach. Participate with them in an activity so you are doubly committed.
Commit to spending a couple of hours a week volunteering in your child's art class or shop time.
Be open with your clients, your leads and your employees that while you work hard during your work hours, evenings and weekends with your family are sacrosanct. Your reasoning is unassailable even admirable and you'll find that prospects and clients will be much more willing to meet within your work time. These family activities are good for you, your kids and provide a good example to others in your company. You can even build some family time into work.
Taking a business trip to a conference? Add some days and include your spouse and one child for a special treat.
Involve your family and employee families in company charitable events like Christmas in April.
Plan company events that welcome and include families like rafting trips, summer picnics, holiday parties.
Invite your child's class to tour a safe jobsite and have each trade discuss their part of the job.
Allow each employee to bring a child to work for a special pre-scheduled day.
June is a great month to renew your Fathers' Day commitment to
become the Dad you wished you were.
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Remodelers Advantage Inc.
535 Main Street, Suite 211
Laurel, MD 20707
ofc: 301-490-5620
fax: 301-498-6869
Info@RemodelersAdvantage.com